The Omega Male Commeth

In nature and faith, the exploits of the Alpha Male are well documented and rarely contested. The world has come to accept its collar-flippin', lady-bonin', Nickleback-rockin' progeny with the quiet dignity a mother has for her slow but charming son. The hyperbolic would say that the Alpha Male is so well accepted in the social zeitgeist that this sticky-haired feller now stands next to some of our most rigid mores, like no white after Labor Day – and – he/she that smelt it, ergo, dealt it.

This presents us with a hole to fill. (It’s important to note: that is indeed what “She” did say). As with all problems, Physics is here to help. Newton’s Third Law of Motion speaks to the direct inverse relationship between action/reaction. Kenneth Cole’s Reaction™ is youthful and fun-loving line of shoes and mid-range apparel. The truly lovely derivation of this bedrock of rationalism, and indeed all Physics, is that it always manages to illuminate and humiliate at the same time. Enumerated:
Gravity = Paramount
Falling on Your Face = Gravity’s Skanky Paramour.

I have just now decided to term this relationship the Double Inverse Polarity Paradigm of Humiliation - for that title clearly sounds badass. Look for it in next months JAMA! But I digress.

The very existence (action) of the Alpha Male requires the retroaction (reaction) of its antithesis. The positron to his electron, the Dave Coulier to his John Stamos. Thus, we must presume the latent coexistence of the Omega Man. In accordance with the laws of nature; The Omega Man must balance the force of the Alpha Man, which, heretofore, makes the Omega Man a little like Luke Skywalker - also badass.

Through means of simple extrapolation the Omega Man already begins assume form. From the ether we start to see the brute outline of the chthonian hero forgotten by time's more beautiful children. In the reflection of the Alpha's physical superiority we can see the Omega's relative dirth of dexterity, agility, stamina and strength. Truth be told: the Omega is only metaphorically familiar with these terms as a lexicon for the Dungeons and Dragon's Complete Rule Set (4th Edition). Where the Alpha might leisure in 'sport' - the Omega might take pleasure in reading McSweeny's and collecting ironic tee-shirts. Alpha is to likes big boobs - as Omega is to likes big boobs under ironic tee-shirts. Alpha: Dave Mathew's Band, Omega:: bands that don't suck. The beat goes on...

Which brings us to the crux; the Back to the Future 3 of this assertion. Just as the Alpha profits from his considerable (if counterfeit) confidence, and the resulting leadership grab - so too does the Omega benefit from his apparent (if artificial) apprehension in social situations. Chicken and the egg be damned - the Omega now lives in a world that is entirely not without reward for him. Insecurity is a tool often helpful to the Omega but has become MOST beneficial in 'The Game.' 'The Game' - also known as 'the F%$king Game' - has many rules and infinite players. Essentially, 'The Game' consists of finding, copulating-with and keeping lady-humans. In the past the Omega would have been far outclassed in 'The Game' by the Alpha, but something has changed - and it's only been recently. The Omega is becoming increasingly more apt in playing outside the rules, especially in contrast to the Alpha. This, coupled with a radical shift in women's desired traits in men, the final shape of the new Omega males becomes finally visible - the new Hero.

Next to talk about:
The Omicron Male
The Omega Female
The evolving role of procreation/breeding in 'the game'
Your penis; your frenemy?