4.27.2005

Baby, why talk when we can just blog?

I think my friends are on slowly becoming 'Digital-Only-Friends©.' As things stand today, most of my peeps have blogs, and those that don’t simply aren’t worth discussing. There appears to be a growing trend of having quasi-meaningful conversations - the kind that should be had in person – over blog. From arguments via blog (Bloguments©), flirting (Flogging©) or converting to Islam (Blogsphemy©) – it appears that we no longer to actually need to be social in order to be friends. For people with special needs the burgeoning market of EAC devices (Electronically Assisted Communications) help those who are unable to talk see or hear. Well listen up Madison Avenue: there is a huge market of people who are either unable or unwilling to communicate emotionally in person and are simply ripe with for picking. Plus, those people will buy anything, as long as you put enough buttons on it and maybe a blue L.E.D.

Why stop there? According to Blog Law (120.21), sufficient creativity is expended in posting IM conversations, as opposed to actually offering any inductive thinking.

I would like to see how may digital strata I am able to put between myself and the core message before the honesty is lost?


[ORIGINAL MESSAGE]
“How was your day?”

[SPEL CHEKEED ON MS WERD]
[BEAMED INTO SPACE]
[TELEGRAPHED OVER THE ATLANTIC]
[PECKED INTO BLACKBERRY]
[SIPPED OVER COFFEEMAKER]
[LOL’D AT ON AIM]
[STOLEN FROM KAZAA]
[SYNCED WITH IPOD]
[+r@N$1@+3d iN+0 133+ $P3@/<]
[INTERCEPTED BY CARNIVORE]
[POSTED ON BLOG]

[RECEIVED MESSAGE]
“Fuck off and die”

Well, I guess I was wrong, apparently digital inference has no effect on the honesty of communication whatsoever! HAZZAH!

4.01.2005

The Faceman Cometh

I’ve decided to wear a moustache from now on.

I know what you're thinking...

“"But Drew, you’'re already so damn attractive… why push it?”"

Allow me to lay your fears to rest by promising to only use my moustache for the purposes of good - and the occasional armed coup d’'etat. Of course, some of you “lesser” friends may be lost by the wayside; discarded like so many free AOL discs; as I am now going to exist on a far superior plane of coolitude. Once my chin-duster elevates me to demagogue, I simply won’t have time for the likes of y’all. So farwell, my unliphaired flunkies, you shall be moderately missed. Now beginith, the Vibrissa Epoch.