God v. Man

For those sports fans keeping score at home, let’s recap:  
Tsunami, hurricane(s), earthquakes, the NFC North, avian flu, – God has certainly come out early and come out swingin’ this season!  Clearly, that controversial late trade for Terri Schiavo (FL) ended up being a smart move on God’s part – that little lady sure proved that she has a lot of spark left in her!  With only a couple months to go before the All-Star break, God has to be feeling pretty good about his chances against the likes of Mohammed and the juggernaut East-Coast offence – as long as God learns from past mistakes and keeps Amy Grant on the sidelines.

On the other end of the spectrum is the struggling Man, who’s only victory this season came early from a still floundering Mars who hasn’t been able to do much to stop any one from just roving all over it.  Man hasn’t started 1-5 since 1945 – when the season was prematurely cancelled because of WWII and a lack of nylons.  If hope can be found anywhere, it’s that Man is expecting the return of last years recovering MVP – Pat Robertson – who is one of the few playing the game who had any success at interfering with God’s playbook.


Can there be any doubt that we have royally pissed off God?  Dang, I knew I shouldn’t have returned those underwear after I wore them… for a week.  THEY WERE CHAFING!

Seriously, I fully expect to turn on the TV tomorrow and to see Finland besieged by a plague of locusts, or everyone in New Jersey to become leppers… oh wait…

Or perhaps it will just start raining frogs?  I like rain.  I like frogs.  I imagine that singing in the frog rain is just as fun, if not more so, than singing in the regular rain.  Plus, we’d finally be able to get rid of all this left over Honey Smacks.  How is this a bad thing again?